The Paradox of My Faith

My life has become a battlefield

A place where pride is born from humility

Where in order to rise, I have to first know what it is like

To have my face to the ground,

 Kiss the dirt on the floor that I know I am beyond

But need its taste to remember where I am going

A place where my self esteem relies on how I treat others

Because lets face it, for me to be able to treat others right

I have to be secure in myself, know that I am above mere feelings

Like anger and rage, jealousy and hate

For me to be complete and have meaning I have to give myself away

Yet still the most complicated indescribable part of it all

I am weak, from the day of my birth till the day that I die

I have to rely on your power

You are powerful; yet, it is in my weakness you are made strong

You manifest your power and love in things, places and people that I (may) despise

All the glory must return to the maker

So while I’m choking on my pride

Waiting for the time to rise

You patiently wait until the lesson is learned

Years go by in my world

But in yours everything changes in a split second

Through faith I have the power and authority

But nothing is complete till I use that power to serve

Uplift others in an attempt to lead

Put others ahead of myself to be the head

What confusion what grace

Love as powerful and eternal a force

Accept the unacceptable

Love the unforeseeable

Betrayal may occur but keep no record of wrong

For love to rise like a phoenix,

It must first shed its feathers like the eagle

To gain new wings to soar

Give what you need YOU say

Even when nothings given in return

Turn a blind a eye

When in all reality I should

Fight for my right and stand for what I believe

I press on towards to the goal

I know I can but it’s not by my power or my strength

Surrender to a being unseen yet my heart knows YOU to no bounds

Untouched yet familiar warmth exists

Tell me where is the meaning in giving up all I am

Yet I know that you died that I may live

So live I will

Till the dawning of a new day

Where mourning is turned to dancing

Sorrow is lifted

And joy is new every morning

Strengthening every part of me

And flaws become perfection

For you I will live

Till the drum stops beating

And the music ceases

In preparation of eternity

Love eternal

Love endless

I give myself away

That I may be whole

Become one with YOU that I may be complete

I give myself away that your love may abound.